Wenn ich mir im Nachinein meinen letzten Beitrag ansehe scheint es mir, zumindest in Moment, fernzuliegen diesen jetzt in diesem Moment zu leben.
So wie es diese "lustlosen" fast depressiven Momente gibt, gibt es Momente in denen es mir schon fast herrlich geht. So wie jetzt zum Beispiel.
Aber meine Liebe zu Büchern ändert sich wohl irgendwie nicht :)
Momentan ist es besonders das Buch "The Perks of being a wallflower", das es mir angetan hat. Vor allem dieses Gedicht, das Charlie Patrick quasi zu Weihnachten schenkt:

Once on a yellow piece of paper with green lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Chops"
because that was the name of his dog
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and a gold star
And his mother hung it on the kitchen door
and read it to his aunts
That was the year that Father Tracy
took all the kids to the zoo
And he let them sing on the bus
And his little sister was born
with tiny toenails and no hair
And his mother and father kissed a lot
And the girl around the corner sent him a
valentine signed with a row of X's
and he had to ask his father what the X's meant
And his father always tucked him in bed at night
And was always there to do it

Once on a piece of white paper with blue lines
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Autumn"
because that was the name of the season
And that's what it was all about
And his teacher gave him an A
and asked him to write more clearly
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because of its new paint
And the kids told him
that Father Tracy smoked cigars
And left butts on the pews
And sometimes they would burn holes
That was the year his sister got glasses
with thick lenses and black frames
And the girl around the corner laughed
when he asked her to go see Santa Claus
And the kids told him why
his mother and father kissed a lot
And his father never tucked him in bed at night
And his father got mad
when he cried for him to do it.

Once on a paper torn from his notebook
he wrote a poem
And he called it "Innocence: A Question"
because that was the question about his girl
And that's what it was all about
And his professor gave him an A
and a strange steady look
And his mother never hung it on the kitchen door
because he never showed her
That was the year that Father Tracy died
And he forgot how the end
of the Apostle's Creed went
And he caught his sister making out on the back porch
And his mother and father never kissed
or even talked
And the girl around the corner
wore too much makeup
That made him cough when he kissed her
but he kissed her anyway
because that was the thing to do
And at three A.M. he tucked himself into bed
his father snoring soundly


That's why on the back of a brown paper bag
he tried another poem
And he called it "Absolutely Nothing"
Because that's what it was really all about
And he gave himself an A
and a slash on each damned wrist
And he hung it on the bathroom door
because this time he didn't think
he could reach the kitchen.


Sehr, sehr traurig das Gedicht. Aber leider auch wahr. Zu oft wahr denke ich.


Mal sehen. Wenn ich "The Perks of being a wallflower" durch hab werde ich mich wahrscheinlich dem Buch "Handmaid's Tale" widmen. Hab heute nämlich meine Englischprüfung geschrieben und eine der beiden Klausuren die zur Auswahl standen hatte einen Textauszug aus dem Buch als Textvorlage. Hat mir sehr gut gefallen. (Hab dann aber doch das andere Thema genommen weil die Fragen mir eindeutig nicht gefallen haben ;P) Man wird sehen wie das nich weitergeht. Hab noch eine schriftliche Prüfung am Dienstag vor mir und dann noch meine mündliche Prüfung am 11.05..